Dinah’s Coffee Chat Anniversaries….

On By dinahIn coffee chat, Disability, self care


Anniversaries……

Welcome back my friend! It’s been a while since we’ve connected. And hello to any new friends that stop by.

So let’s start by addressing the elephant in the room… At least the elephant for me… I clearly blew it with the July blogging challenge. I did pretty well for about a week. And then we had company, visitors from out of town…. And summer continued to happen… I’m hoping for better blogging with the November #Cheerpeppers Challenge. Wish me luck.

So back to the topic at hand. Anniversaries have been on my mind, and not the good kind!

Last week was the one year anniversary of my big fall. Because of my disability, my knee gave out and I went down hard on a tile floor. I broke my left arm and had a hairline crack in my left knee.

For anyone else, this would have sidelined them for a couple of days until they could get adjusted to limping and not using their arm. But, again, because of my disability… It sidelined me for three months!

Over the last several weeks, I have found myself reliving the details of those first two weeks. I can’t even count the number of flashbacks that I have had of the fall itself. And I have relived the frustration of not being able to get the emergency room staff to understand the magnitude of the impact this had on my ability to function. They kept telling me that I was fine to go home and schedule a meeting with a surgeon to have my arm surgically corrected. I kept trying to tell them that I walk with crutches. If I can’t use my left arm, I can’t walk. And we were staying at our cottage which was not wheelchair accessible. They just kept telling me that I was fine to go home. It was like they were completely incapable of understanding that I was disabled. It wasn’t until I asked them to help me use the restroom… And it took three nurses to help me because I couldn’t put much weight on my left leg and I couldn’t use my left arm… Then they realized that this was a bigger deal than they had thought. At that point, they decided to admit me into the hospital, where I stayed for a solid week.

I was admitted on a Wednesday. I had surgery that Friday where they implanted an 8 inch rod in my arm and about a dozen screws to keep everything together. I’ve seen the x-rays… They’re quite disturbing!

Following the hospital stay, I thankfully took my friend Calleen‘s advice and went to a rehab center for a week to rebuild my strength and to learn how to transfer safely. I will always be immensely grateful to her for going out on a limb and telling me that going home right after surgery was a horrible idea. It would be much too difficult for me and for my husband… And she was absolutely right. Thanks to her… My husband had time to get the house ready and to rent equipment that would help with our new normal. It also gave the rehab center time to set up in-home care and physical therapy. I didn’t even know some of that was available to me!

Once I came home, my husband and I led a very quiet life for three months while I healed.

All of the above certainly took its toll. I feel like I’m a little slower and a little more clumsy. But I’m back on my crutches and still walking… And for that, I’m grateful!

But I realize that, just because the outcome has been positive, doesn’t mean that there isn’t trauma to deal with. There certainly is. And it’s bigger and broader than I would have imagined!

I feel like the core issue is the need to deal with the immense vulnerability that comes with these kinds of injuries and surgeries and rehabilitation…

Most people who know me know that I have the ability to turn into a barracuda when necessary. If I am advocating for myself or a friend/family member, not much stands in my way and I am not afraid to say anything! But even though I have these skills, I still felt terrifyingly vulnerable in the hospital and the rehab center. When your basic functioning is in the hands of other people, it’s daunting! Going to the bathroom, showering, eating… Complete strangers have control over every aspect of your life… Let that sink in…

I certainly gained valuable insight into what people face when they transition into assisted living or nursing homes.

I’ve also come to believe that emotional healing isn’t a linear process. It’s more like a spiral. And hopefully, each pass through the issue allows us to release a bit more stored trauma and elevate and integrate a bit more. My friend Nancy helped me to realize that I’ve been doing this for the last couple of weeks and I can tell you it’s a lot of hard work!

So I’m writing about all of this as part of my own healing journey a year later. And I’m writing about it to encourage your healing journey as well. Whatever you’re dealing with, give yourself the time and space to feel what comes up and to release that which is no longer needed.

And if you have a loved one in a care facility, give them some extra love and support. Their days are harder than you may realize.

Sending love and light and I’m always glad you’re here 💜

You can read more coffee shares here

https://fresh.inlinkz.com/party/6cf8abc8db0e4d3c8f818e592f4644ac

21 thoughts on “Dinah’s Coffee Chat Anniversaries….”

  2. Thank you for sharing so authentically. Sending much love your way as you heal these emotional layers. I honor your courage and strength to do so. It helps us all to do the same in our own challenges. 🙏🌈❤

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    2. Thanks Gary! I’m ok and healed….physically anyway. This was a year ago, before I started blogging. I just wasn’t expecting the year anniversary to bring it all back so vividly! I’ve literally been remembering the events of each and every day of the first 2 weeks of the injury! I just wasn’t expecting it to be so ….in my face! But here it is, demanding to be dealt with! Trauma is a demanding teacher!
      Thanks for reading. I’ll be stopping by your blog soon.
      Happy weekend 🌺

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  5. Thank you Dinah. In this society we are sometimes expected to function as robots, at least it feels like that. Thank you for sharing your story, I am very happy that you had a thoughtful friend and your husband to lean on in your difficult times. ❤

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  6. I managed to complete a writing challenge in June then took a bit of break and then by the time I checked on yours well, the visitors had come to town.
    Sometimes unwanted anniversary just find themselves into our lives and we can look back and be grateful of the journey and the healing and the lesson, life is such a weird a teacher and trauma can be so.. cruel and unusual, here’s to positive vibes and summer energy, its summer this side of the world
    ~B

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    1. Hello my friend!
      Yes! I agree. When I shift my focus, and look at EVERYTHING (even trauma) as a benevolent teacher, I can then find the beauty in each experience. It doesn’t change the need for healing. But it helps!
      Thank you for stopping by! I hope you have a wonderful week and a beautiful summer!🌺

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  7. Anniversaries are a blessing and a curse, my sister likes to mark the passing of my dad whereas I’m happy to forget knowing that every day he’s not here could be a day of sadness. I like to remember the day of his birth, and it’s something I can’t forget! Can you reframe this one for you? You’re amazing, and the journey you’ve taken and how far you have come. I realise it’s easy for me to put these words down and my heart goes out to you for the time you’ve had.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and you’re right. I need to reframe it …maybe as a badge of survival or something. Thanks for the reminder! I’m a big believer in the power of reframing!
      I appreciate you! I hope your week is lovely 🌺

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  9. I have never seen a sunflower in this colour before! It is intriguing!

    Thank you for sharing your reflection on your injury and recuperation. It isn’t always easy to let folks into our lives & headspace – so I appreciate this very much.

    I recollect my ICU pneumonia experience from 4 years ago regularly as well. Like you, as part of the healing & gratefulness journey. So, I hear you, and I thank you.

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    1. I agree! I had never seen a sunflower like that before either… Which is why I took a picture of it! It was very eye-catching.

      Thank you for your kind words. And I’m sorry that you had that experience and that you can relate. But I guess it’s all part of living our lives and healing as we go. Wishing you so much peace and healing! Thank you for stopping by!💜

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