Remembering ….

I saw the doctor today. He said I can try walking again. After 3 months, he feels that my cracked left kneecap and my broken and surgically reengineered left arm are ready for the next step….literally and figuratively! I reminded him that I walk with crutches…always have. He thinks my arm can handle it.

I’m both elated and terrified!

I tried a few steps this afternoon. My legs seemed to remember their role, albeit sluggishly.

My arm, however is having memory issues. It seems to have forgotten its relationship with my crutch. What was once an easy partnership is now an awkward interplay…..like two long lost friends trying to find their, once easy rhythm. The crutch awaits orders from the arm, but the arm hasn’t quite remembered how to master its own movement, let alone how to direct the motions of something else.

Three months isn’t that long. But in the body calendar, three months is an eon at least! Three months of enforced nothingness for the whole arm, in order to let the single member…the bone, remember wholeness, means that the entire arm, as a collective, has forgotten how to work together.

Life is all about movement, after all. And when movement is reduced or restricted, a type of heaviness or fogginess moves in. And it seems that the only antidote for that weightiness is movement itself!

So, regardless of the awkwardness or fogginess, I’ll be returning to movement and hoping like heck that movement will reciprocate and return to me, at close to the level I had before!

It seems healing is about remembering….remembering how to be whole, remembering movement, remembering cohesive functioning….Let the remembering begin!

I’m glad you’re here…