Welcome my friend! So happy to share some virtual time and space with you!
If we were having coffee, I’d offer you coffee, tea, soda or water. I’d also offer you some of my husband’s banana bread. He’s using my mom’s recipe…and adding chocolate chips…because EVERYTHING is better with chocolate! He really has created something worth spending the calories on! I’m loving it! My jeans, however, are not! -Sigh…with eye roll….
We hit 62 degrees yesterday! Such a gift for November in the upper Midwest. Every non-ugly day is one more day closer to Spring! Yay!
If we were having coffee I’d want to talk about good news or big events or something enjoyable that happened recently. But none of that is offered on the menu these days and I think that’s ok. And here’s why….
In earth based spiritual traditions, winter is the season of reflection, of going within. The days are shorter. The temps/weather is cooler and sometimes flat out awful. Many animals, in sync with the rhythm of nature, go into hibernation. So it’s the time of year that is meant for life to slow down.
On top of this, we happen to be in the midst of a a global pandemic. You’ve likely heard of it a time or two. 🤗 Travel, gatherings and socialization are all to be avoided. And yes, that stinks in big and varied ways. But it is what it is and we all know that nothing ever changes just because we don’t like it. All we can do is make the best of it. And that’s what’s on my mind….How to make the most of this time of reflection, of going within….
Some of what I’m doing is intentional reframing. Whenever I catch myself starting to lament something, I immediately try and reframe it into something positive. As an example, when I start to feel cranky about not being able to go out for my favorite black bean burger, I think… Well, look at the money you’re saving… That doesn’t give me a black bean burger. But it does give me just a bit of positive reinforcement. I do this kind of thing multiple times throughout the day. It helps.
It has made me aware of being able to choose my thoughts. I’m starting to think that I could be correcting a lot more of my past and present and even future thinking. Consequently, it has made me start analyzing my thoughts about all kinds of things. I’m analyzing memories, opinions, observations about interpersonal dynamics… I’m trying to figure out where my thinking has been faulty. I’m trying to reframe that as well. While I can’t, obviously, change the past… I can change my thoughts about it. And honestly… This has been helpful for me. By analyzing my thoughts and looking at ways that I could be healthier in my opinions or observations, I have found myself softening towards some difficult memories of the past. I feel like this process has gotten me closer to being able to forgive. And that’s huge.
My brother used to sarcastically say that our family put the fun in dysfunction. We did not. Within a family of great dysfunction, you don’t lack for material with regard to forgiveness. There’s always more than enough to work with. I’m finding that this reframing of my thoughts is allowing me to be more open minded and open hearted as I think about people and experiences of the past. And every time I realize that an old trigger is less triggering, I feel lighter and even more motivated to keep doing this work. It’s my pandemic project! I’m determined to put this down-time to good use!
So that’s my news! It’s not pretty or sexy. My hope is that it might, at least, be mildly interesting and maybe just a tad useful.
And you, my friend? How are you? I hope you’re finding some gifts embedded in these challenging times! Know that you’re not alone. We’re all in this separately and together!
I’m so glad you’re here 💜
The weekend coffee share is brought to you by Eclectic Alli. You can read more share here-https://eclecticali.wordpress.com/2020/11/20/weekendcoffeeshare-the-pasta-was-spectacular/
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