DNA/NPE Realities…Day 5/30

On By dinahIn #NanoPoblano2024, Family, love, MPE, NPE
Photo by Dinah(c)

I never met her. Didn’t even know she existed until six years ago. But Kelly, the DNA Search Angel, found an old newspaper article about her.

She was widowed young and raised three kids on her own by managing the local hardware store that she owned. The article said she raised money for the family that lived across the street from her store. It was the 1950’s. The little girl had just been diagnosed with polio and her single mom couldn’t work because they were quarantined. There were few, if any social programs to help people in need. So EVERY customer in the hardware store was led to the window, told about the needs of the mother and daughter across the street, and asked how much they could contribute. She raised several hundred dollars and people started leaving meals and envelopes of money on the porch for the mother and daughter.

This woman was kind and clearly resourceful. She cared for that family while raising her own kids alone….a social activist. I love knowing that.

She died when I was ten years old. But I believe I would have loved her.

Her name was Leah, known as “Lee.” And she was my grandmother.

I didn’t get to know her because nobody told me my own origin story until I was 17….and then it was shouted at me, like it was my fault….that my mom had an affair, that I was really half Jewish, that I had four other siblings that I’ve still never met….

This journey is continually evolving as am I. The sting of the past isn’t as biting as it was. The loss of the people I never met but should have been able to love is still quite real and often confusing….grieving someone you were never allowed to know is a completely different animal.

I’ve started to feel her presence in my life and that feels right.

Her name was Lee. She was my grandma. And I believe I would have loved her.

I’m glad you’re here💜

This post is part of the month long blogging challenge called Nanopoblano. Please visit my other blogging team members Here

19 thoughts on “DNA/NPE Realities…Day 5/30”

    1. Thank you for visiting. I have several NPE posts and will have more. There are several facebook groups for NPEs. I’ve found them to be helpful.
      -NPE Friends
      -MPE life DNA Surprise, NPE, Adoptee, Donor Conceived Support
      -DNA Identity Surprise
      – severance magazine

      Let me know if I can help you on this journey.

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  4. Thank you! When on Facebook I was part of those groups and found them very encouraging in the beginning if my journey. If you visit my blog you will find that the last post very briefly describes my discovery. A couple of my older posts ( I haven’t been back on WP ) include some poems about my early discovery. Additionally a couple of my NPE poems are linked to the literary journals they have been published in on my professional portfolio website- Kimberlyvargasagnese.com

    My agent ( who is also my daughter is currently compiling a NPE collection of mine ) Since our discovery she has felt that the NPE community is in much need of more representation..
    While yes, the journey of an unknown biological father who is part of a marginalized community and the subsequent rejection of myself by my maternal family has definitely been traumatic.. God has been faithful.. in turning pain into poetry.. turns out I’m a second generation intertribal Mexican American … turned chicana poet.. blessed to write alongside my newfound community.. given the honor of being a finalist for the Andres Montoya poetry contest out if the University of Notre Dame.. as well as published in several literary journals as mentioned.. just signed a traditional publishing contract for my first collection which is slated for launch next October… although my publisher knows I’m an N PE.. this collection is primarily environmental and chicana in nature…

    Anyway beloved, what doesn’t break us.. can be used to make us..
    Hugs:)
    Would love for u to check out my sites.

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  5. After observing the intensity of my suffering, my daughter ( who is also published) kept saying.. “ Mom, all the stories about people finding out who their father actually is are all from the point of view of their newfound family.. and the surprise it is to them. People don’t understand what it’s like from the NPE perspective.. they need to know! “

    For awhile I just told her, “ Well , you can pitch my story as an article of you’d like. “. She’s a freelance journalist and used to intern at a press for magazines, and I wasn’t in the mood.. at that time I was desperately trying to connect with the Indigenous Mexican community and that is how I became a chicana poet.. .. btw.. they have welcomed me right in .. which was such a blessing because I felt so very displaced. ( Go to sleep one night thinking you are a Hungarian and the next day you’re Mexican.. you know how the story goes.. ) But every now and then the anguish inside me came out in poetry.. My daughter has collected them lol.. and is in the process of readying then to send off to a publisher.

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  10. I believe Cosmic Double and Snapdragon are the lit journals which accepted my NPE stuff.. I don’t mind if you want to sift through my poems and look for publishers that supported this on my Kimberlyvargasagnese.com and try them out yourself sometime. If u do go to that site could u please like? It looks so cold and lonely and unvisited.

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