HAPPY BIRTHDAY DON!

Usually, on my husband’s birthday, I write a post about some of the wonderful qualities that make him who he is. But today it’s a different kind of day so it merits a different kind of post. Today, he enters a new decade… That makes this day even more auspicious!

Also, this morning he reminded me that today at about 4:30, it’s the 36th anniversary of our first date! So I thought I’d tell that story for his birthday.

We met when I was hired as a case manager at a sheltered workshop. This was a place for people with severe cognitive or mental health disabilities. They would come there each day and the goal was to help them learn appropriate work skills so that they could eventually work in the community.

I was a brand new case manager. He was the work floor supervisor. And I was quite sure that he hated me.

He spoke so quietly that I could barely hear him. And everything he did, he did quickly. He was all work!

Periodically I would have to communicate with him about a specific client or about a change in programming. I dreaded it. Mostly because I could never hear what he said to me in response. So I would often tell my coworker, who was also a case manager, to go and communicate with him instead of me. Again… I was sure he hated me.

We had been working together for about a year when I had to ask him for a favor. So I worked up my courage, walked up to him and said –

“I’m getting divorced and moving out of my house. I need moving boxes. If you get some good boxes on the work floor, could you please save them for me?”

And then I held my breath waiting for him to tell me not to bother him or to leave him alone, or…..

But he didn’t do anything like that. He went over to the side, made about 6 boxes for me and came back to my office. He said “I just made a few boxes for you. Give me your keys and I’ll put them in your car.”

I was stunned! He was nice to me!

And then slowly, he started talking to me a little more each day. And I started to realize that he wasn’t a crab. In fact, he was a really nice guy!

What in the world was happening?

I moved out of my house into an apartment with a roommate. I had tried to work on my marriage but it was a lost cause. I’d even been in a car accident and totaled my car and was off of work for a few weeks. It had been a busy summer.

We had no contact outside of work. He was just nice to me at work.

My car accident had been in September. When I finally returned to work, we seemed to talk a bit more. It was time to admit that there was something there.

But nothing was said about dating or anything ….

Then came Thursday November 12, 1987. It was the employee appreciation dinner. (Yes… Employers used to actually do things like that!) I went with 2 other women from work. It was my first one.

Everyone was in a wonderful mood. We all had so much fun. And we all drank way too much! So much so that we had to call the husband of one of the women to come and get us and take us all home! We might have been stupid, but at least we were responsibly stupid!

I’ve never been a regular drinker. So it all hit me pretty hard. I was still a bit buzzed when I went to work the next day. I’m pretty sure that I was buzzed because, as I walked in to the work area, I saw Don on the work floor and yelled “Hey! Happy Birthday! Ya wanna go out for a birthday drink after work?”

This was at 6:45 in the morning. He was more than a bit stunned… Few people think about going out for a drink before they’ve even had breakfast!

But there we were.

I was very concerned about his reaction. Did I just make a mistake? Have I misread the signs? Is he not that interested in me?

Should I just go in the bathroom and throw up and then go home?

But it wasn’t any of these things. He was just very shy and very surprised and unprepared for my tipsiness.

We did go out that night to a bar that served food. We both ordered a beer and popcorn shrimp. And we barely touched our food.

We talked. And we talked. And we talked.

And then it was his turn to shock me. He said…”I know I may not be a prince. I may not be able to give you fancy things. But I promise that I will always take care of you, and I would never ever hurt you.”

I was stunned….I’m rarely speechless. But I was that night.

I don’t remember what I said. But I remember him walking me to my car and kissing me good night. Our first kiss.

I knew then that this was suddenly very real and much bigger than I thought.

And we’ve been together ever since….

We’ve been through a lot… Some pretty big ups and downs. We even broke up for a bit and then found our way back to each other.

And here we are… On the 36th anniversary of our first date…

Which also happens to be his 60th birthday…

Every year I celebrate his birthday with so much gratitude because he has been my best friend, my mentor, and my partner in everything for all these years.

So happy birthday baby! You have always been and continue to be the very best part of my life! You deserve all the best that life has to offer…

Thank you for choosing to do life with me 💜

(And I’m sorry that I still can’t friggin’ hear you! 🥰)

I’m glad you’re here💜

This post is part of the November Nanopoblano challenge. A group of us committed to writing a blog post every day for the month of November. Please visit the blogs of my other Nanopoblano cheer pepper friends HERE