Remember that feeling? The pressure you felt as a school kid when a big test was on the horizon or an assignment was coming due? The feeling of “should” was always just below the surface. “I SHOULD be preparing for this!”
That same vague pressure seems to skulk around my adult life right around tax time. It’s a weightiness that shadows me. “I SHOULD be organizing paperwork!”
“Pressure” is about the only word I can think of to describe the feeling that has been toying with me for, literally, over a year, maybe two. It’s the same internal push that I had about 15 years ago that resulted in a self published book, a survival guide for the newly disabled.
In that endeavor, I did just about everything wrong. And I learned a lot….about what NOT to do. I still have a lot to learn about the process….But one mountain at a time….
This feeling like I’m SUPPOSED to be writing a book never really leaves me…. But here’s the problem….. The “feeling” never actually communicates anything else….nothing, nada, zilch.
I have a couple of ideas. But when I play them out in my head, I don’t or can’t see a firm pathway. It’s like being lost in the forest. So I back up and return to vague confusion.
In October I attended a weekend writers conference hosted by A WRITING ROOM and it was wonderful. And from that, a very small writers group came together to support each other’s writing progress. There are four of us, from four different countries!
And today is our second meeting!
I’m so looking forward to joining together via zoom to see if others struggle with this same vague SHOULD. And to see how they deal with it. My last book project was so direct, it almost wrote itself. I’m hoping to find some much needed clarity so that I can move from pressure to action.
If anyone reading this has any advice on this subject, please leave a comment below… I’d love to know your thoughts…
I’m glad you’re here💜
This post is part of the November Nanopoblano challenge. A group of us committed to writing a blog post every day for the month of November. Please visit the blogs of my other Nanopoblano cheer pepper friends HERE
With Angels and Elephants 
I have that feeling too Dinah, much of the time… In my files there are a few half written stories, some long, some short. Even when I want to know what happens…. I run out of steam. Then there’s memoir – and the question what is the difference between memoir and autobiography. I guess the latter is linear and the former- you can pick and choose what to include. The best advice I was given at a writers workshop is to write every day, even if for five minutes – and you are already doing that this month!!
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Thanks for stopping by my friend. My delayed reply is due to Thanksgiving here in the states.
Thanks too for letting me know you deal with this too. I guess we keep writing until clarity finds us💜
Have a great week 💜
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I love that you came out of the conference with a writing group! I attended that conference, too, so I know how inspiring it is and how the Writing Room community continues to be so. You are part of that inspiration!
I know this pressure, too. I experience it in my chest as an actual pressure, which when I examined it more specifically, I recognized as energy wanting to get out. It isn’t articulated, meaning at that point I don’t have words associated with it.
To relieve the pressure and accompanying frustration, I write in my journal. If that doesn’t give me words specifically associated with a writing piece, I try freewriting inner monologue, usually without having any idea who’s speaking. That helps a character take shape or at least some more concrete part of an idea.
Did that make any sense? 🙂
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Thank you so much for the wonderful suggestions! I appreciate your kindness and camaraderie ! It helps to know that others experience and understand this pressure. I’ll definitely keep your ideas in mind and will try them. Thanks again and I’m glad you joined our Nanopoblano community 💜
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That is one of the ways you inspired me!
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Oh man, I am with you on that “feeling” that I should be writing a book – but no help of course as to the actual process 😂 I would love to join a writer’s group, actually – had one in uni and it was a huge highlight for me!
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Hi Janelle!
Thanks for letting me know you understand this vague sensation. It certainly can be quite daunting.
As for a writers group… My suggestion would be to go to the A Writing Room website. Sign up for their mailing list. They plan to do writing retreats every May and September.
https://awritingroom.com/community/
I attended virtually, and it was wonderful. The founders of a Writing Room include Sam Lamott. He is Ann Lamott’s son. She is going to be doing a book club with her book entitled Bird by Bird. I think they will be meeting once per month for four months. I think you have to be a member to attend, but I’m not sure. I chose not to be a member because it’s $50 per month. I felt like they are a little bit too new to be offering much right now. It might be worth it in a year or two… Right now the only things they seem to be offering are that book club, and weekly, silent, writing, gatherings… Which don’t interest me. But my thought is that… If you attend the next retreat, you will meet other attendees, either in person or virtually like I did, and you could start an online writing group from there.
When you get time to look through the website, let me know what you think…
Thanks again for visiting! I hope you have a great week 💜
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I could definitely see another book in you! Wishing you ease and grace in the process, if you take it on. 💗
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Thank you 🙏 I’m just waiting (impatiently) for clarification and guidance 🥰 Fingers crossed 🤞
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