I thrive on certainty. I like routine. Sameness makes me feel safe. I’m strange that way. Maybe you are too?
I suspect this is a byproduct of growing up in chaos. Dysfunction is threatening. Dysfunction, by it’s very nature, is unsettling and fatiguing and makes you hold your breath as if tension and breath can protect you from whatever is lurking just beyond the boundaries of your senses.
I’ve done a pretty good job of building a life based on sameness…until…well until the big things shattered it. The big ones turn routine on its head. And you just know NOTHING will be the same ever again!
When the big things happen and life feels like that cracker you just crumbled into your chili, you don’t return to sameness. You hold your breath like you did when it was happening and create a different sameness…that isn’t sameness at all. But you do it anyway because you’ve grown fond of breathing.
We’re doing this collectively now. Nothing feels like sameness. Some cope by denying that the cracker was ever crumbled. They’re determined that sameness will continue. While others feel the crumbling in every corner of their existence and they cope by trying to remake a way and pretend it’s sameness because the constriction of chaos and not knowing demand some pretense.
Where ever you are and whatever you’re doing….just breathe! Breath has grown fond you too!
I’m glad you’re here.
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